:)
I used to judge people who told me I had to fall in love with myself before I could love someone else but now I see the idea behind it. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I can’t love another person but what’s less likely is me being comfortable enough to embark on a relationship with someone who is my equal.
Where I’m at now I’m more likely to attempt a relationship with someone, anyone who gives me attention that doesn’t completely terrify me. Someone I’m not attracted to straight away. Anyone that I can push away at a moments notice. (there’s a bunch of you I’m looking at, don’t get too excited)
Occasionally I’ll miss one of them (some more frequently than others) but recently I discovered that if I only let myself see them for who they actually are and not what I build them up to be in my head (eg. better than me) I don’t actually care about them.
So here’s to not having an emotional connection to anyone, buckling down to the stuff that’s really important and finding my place in the world. Minus any other person.
Apparently if you live in WA and facebook search “Bradley Manning” it sends you to my fb page…
That’s creepy.
Using EBSCO to research for a uni assignment and having it throw an article I’ve written into the mix is a bit weird…
I don’t actually care that boyfriends run away from me faster than they’d run away from the plauge. I don’t actually care that I’m alone most of the time. I don’t actually care that I get hurt a lot. It’s just a cover what actually does upset me. That stupid stuff that happened 4 years ago that I still can’t get past. I hate PTSD. I hate not being normal and I hate never being able to sleep. I’d rather have a nightmare than not sleep. Fuck.
